A scratchy affair

There are those people who wrinkle their noses when they take their petrol-guzzling pair of wheels to the gas station.

And then there are those like me who can scarcely wipe the delight writ large on her face when it is time for the trip to the one of ‘em gas stations.

This blog post, lest you may think is about gas (pun unintended), is not in the least about it. So before I go off into one of my favourite rambling sessions, let me launch into what this is all about.

Last week, on a Monday morning, while on my way to work, I chanced to see a car without scratches.

What’s the huge deal about it, you may ask.

Well, in a place like Delhi, where all cars, and I mean ALL cars, have at least half a dozen nicks, scrapes, and scratches, on their otherwise metallic frames, coming by a car without the proverbial graze is nothing short of a rarity.

Now, people do love their cars. In fact, some people love theirs more than they do their respective spouses. After all, there is nothing as liberating as getting behind the wheel, upping the surround system, rolling up the windows (depending on whether it is drizzling or not. In case of the former, the windows are rolled down), and settling out for a spin about town, the highway, the suburban mall, or what you will. Add to that, the car, not just a means of conveyance, has a striking personality of its own too.

So you have macho men who become gooey-eyed when they scrub their beauties on wheels, and stand back to look at their piece of art, covered with suds (the car I mean. Duh!). You also have the busy executive, who before settling down into his cushy sedan with his copy of the Economic Times, decides to take a step back and see the beauty he rides, caresses it lovingly, and then takes a step in.

You also have the girl who takes a look at herself in the rear-view mirror of the car she is paying EMIs for from her current job. Satisfied, she smiles, saying a silent prayer of thanks for the ability to drive down, come rain or shine, to any place that takes her fancy (read the mall, the salon, the grocery mart, the NGO for children etc).

Despite people guarding their cars with their life, the inevitable, ugly scratch rears its head, leaving behind distressed sighs from the owners.

And some exasperated / pained looks from the fathers who have shelled-out money from their pockets for these wheels.

If only….

Of cars and their drivers

Depending upon the number of zeroes the car in front costs, the car right behind it keeps its distance – safe or with its nose right up the first car’s bumper.

Just one of my many observations, on one of my many spells of lack of any occupation (I can almost see many heads nod in unison - !@#$%^&).

Now that I have let off steam with those therapeutic words (ahem ahem - and I hope my Mom never reads this post), let me come right back to the topic.

The other day, I asked my cab diver why he was moving along at a snail’s pace behind the sleek black car (that must have cost its owner a tidy sum) in front. His answer was classic – “Madame, uss gaadi ka ek tyre meri poori gaadi se zyaada mehenga hoga shaayad,” loosely translated in English as: “Madame, probably one tyre of that car will cost more than my entire car.”

This set me thinking. Staying in Delhi, I have had seen more than my share of traffic snarls on the road. I’ve seen it all – roadside vendors selling anything at traffic jams - from tender coconuts, magazines, wilted roses, balloons, toys, pens, you name it (I wouldn’t be surprised one day if you are waiting for the traffic light to turn green, and you can choose from the cans the vendor proffers: Budweiser, Carlsberg, Heineken, Corona, closer home – Kingfisher, Haywards, and some other fizzies).

Being a frequent user of the three-wheeled green and yellow CNG auto rickshaws, I have to also contend with urchins who shove their palms right under your nose, moving away only when you drop a shiny coin or a note in it, and sometimes, the odd snake-charmer out to make you reach out for your wallet in fright, thanks to the lazy python that twists around its master’s neck and peeps at you with one glittering eye (Oh horror!), and the joss sick seller who sells fragrant incense-sticks, one of my favorites. Till last fortnight, I had a neat stack of packs of incense-sticks, so I am in a pretty good position to comment upon this particular subject.

But as is my wont, I have again rambled. Sigh. I could do with some focus, really!

Many people, who drive, have a strange predilection for inching their cars as close as is humanly possible to the car right in front. A frog would be the only animal that would be able to escape from between where the bumper of the first car and the bonnet of the second car looked as if they were leaning in for a passionate embrace, and that too only because it would go hoppity-hop.

The second car right behind looks akin to a schoolteacher who has notions about a possibility of cheating by an errant schoolboy, and is therefore, extra cautious, breathing down the student’s neck, who all the while, tries his best to remember what he has rote-learned the day before, and is hastily scribbling it all on his examination sheet.

All this changes if the car in front happens to be from the luxury car segment.

In which case, the car behind suddenly decides to make slow-and-steady its new road-mantra, keeping a safe distance, almost like a reverential devotee standing hands-folded, head bowed, in front of a deity’s icon.

Honking, that favorite pastime of many drivers, enough to make even the sanest crazy, is also done away with. Welcome PEACE. Obligatory applause.

It is also a sight for sore eyes when two cars come right on towards each other.

Rule # 1 – the guy in the small car is always expected to back off, even if he is on the right of way. I keep wondering who created this Rule.

The Golden Rule – remember this – Have Vocal chords. Will Scream. (Enuff said).

Rule # 2 – When in any confusion, refer to the Golden Rule. Always works. Use your voice, Mistah!

However, if a single metal scrape between the luxury car and an average car were to happen, you may bid adieu to all the peace you were reveling in.

And it is highly recommended that reach out for your iPod, adjusting it to full blast.

Next / Sometime else: The scrape that results in DOP (Destruction of Peace).

Auto Expo: New Delhi (January 10 - 17, 2008)

Thinking that it was a Saturday and that too before lunch-time, a brave gal pal and I decided to venture out and get a dekko at the Auto Expo.

Bad idea, it turned out to be.

Thousands of other like-minded auto-enthusiasts also decided to add their share to the already-bursting-at-the-seams-traffic at Pragati Maidan.

The cars more than made up for it, though.

Despite not being able to gawp and gape at all the cars, we still managed, within an hour well-spent, to see most of the four-wheeled hot wheels we wanted to see (read Daimler Chrysler / Mercedes Benz, BMW, Audi, Chevrolet, Fiat, etc). After a lot of huff-puffing and valiant pushing, we also managed a peek at the four specimens of Nano, the much-awaited offering from TATA Motors, unveiled just a couple of days back, and already being touted as a stiff competitor for its closest rival – Maruti 800. Much elbowing later, when we finally came close upfront with it, we couldn’t help but draw out a sigh of disappointment. Now the statistics looked impressive enough – 21 % more spacious from the interior, and 8 % smaller from the exterior as compared to its already named rival, it scored zilch in the looks department, according to our girlie tastes.

Moving on, we managed glimpses of some other cars, after deciding to give the bikes a miss. We had the impressin that there were no superbikes - no Harley-Davidsons, Ducatis, Hayabusas, Ninjas, or Honda CBR1000RRs – to up the oomph quotient, and cause our hearts to flutter. Upon returning to our respective homes, we found out, to our utter dismay, that the bikes were all on display. @#$%^&

We would have stayed longer at the expo, except that all the jostling, shoving, and elbowing started getting on our nerves. Add to that the huge sea of surging people who believed that sweat was man’s greatest gift to humankind, and the hordes who believed in groping anything that remotely resembled a woman’s form, and you get the drift why we decided to cut our visit short. Believe me, being trussed like sardines in a jar inside claustrophobic exhibition halls with the likes of such people was hardly pleasant – an ordeal was more like it.

A good amount of elbowing – and we were finally out in the open. Whew! And made our way to our favorite coffee place, one that had been closed down some months back, much to our dismay, but which, last month, had reopened, much o our exhilaration.

I go to the Auto Expo again this Tuesday, this time on business passes. So I’m hoping to get some more snaps. And a lot less of shoves in my faces.

But till then, make-do with this pic that I clicked of the Audi TT TDI– a stunning beauty, one that made my jaw drop.

Vroooooooooooom....

Mercedes McLauren SLR New Delhi

Even Paris Hilton owns one.

The mean-machine, Mercedes McLauren SLR, on almost every auto-aficionado’s most-wanted list, is being showcased right here.

Yup, you read it right.

The event is being organized in association with arguably the most famous potion of all, Johnny Walker.

Wipe that drool off your face people.

The stunning beauty will be on display in Delhi (you’ve already missed seeing it in Noida on January 5, 2007).

So if you do want to gasp in admiration, do remember to get yourself to the MGF Mall, New Delhi, January 12 – 14, 2007.

Mercedes and Malts.

You can't go wrong with the combo.

Vroooooooooooooooooooooom. Cheers!

The World's 10 Fastest Cars.

You can’t miss this one. These are the top ten mean machines, bound to be on the dream list of every motor aficionado. They’ll make you go weak in the knees, make your heart aflutter—be it their speed, power, performance, drop-dead chiseled / gorgeous looks, these cars are a heady potion.

Go chase them!

1. Ultima GTR
0-100 mph: 9.4 secs
$99,270 USD
http://www.ultimasports.co.uk/

2. Bugatti Veyron
0-100 mph: 9.90 seconds
$1,700,000
www.bugatti-cars.de

3. Ariel Atom Supercharged
0-100 mph: 10.88 secs
$85,000
http://www.arielmotor.co.uk/
http://www.arielatom.com/

4. Ferrari Enzo
0-100 mph: 10.9 secs
$1000000
http://www.ferrariworld.com/FWorld/fw/index.jsp

5. McLaren F1 LM
0-100 mph: 11.5 secs
$140,000
http://www.mclaren.co.uk/

6. Porsche Carrera GT
0-100 mph: 11.6 secs
$106,000
http://www.porsche.com/usa/

7. Pagani Zonda
0-100 mph: 11.8 secs
$1400000
http://www.paganiautomobili.it/

8. Caterham CSR260
0-100 mph: 11.95 seconds
$ 69,100
http://www.caterham.co.uk/showroom/sevens/csr.htm

9. Brooke Double R
0-100 mph: 12.50 seconds
Between $55,000 and $75,000
http://www.brookecars.co.uk/

10. Porsche 911 Turbo
0-100 mph: 12.50 seconds
$ 122,900.00
http://www.porsche.com/usa/

It was a tad disconcerting to see that the British Aston Martin (James Bond’s car), and the German BMW, have nose-dived to the nineteenth and twentieth slots, respectively.

Buck up James Bond.
You can do better, can’t you?
(But with Daniel Craig now, I’m highly skeptical).
Mean, ain’t I?

If you are craving for more, you can read the AutoMotoPortal article here. Vrooooom!