Diwali 2008 vis-a-vis Diwali 2007

With tomorrow being the much-awaited Indian Festival of Light, Diwali (a.k.a. Deepawali), I expected the entire city to be lit like a bride on her wedding day, garlanded with flickering fairy lights, earthen lamps, and strings of gaudy papiermache lamps hanging from doorways. I also expected people driving up in droves to shopping malls, carrying several colorful, crunchy-sounding shopping bags, filled to the brims with gifts, consumer goods, clothes and firecrackers.

Instead I encountered endless traffic snarls – where are all these people driving to anyway? On a Saturday afternoon too, no less, there seemed little respite for the choking roads, with people barely helping, thanks to flaring tempers and the occasional rude comments they hurled deftly at one another, etiquette and soft-spokenness be darned! Add to that, a winter on the verge of spreading its chill, and you had to also contend with shivering bikers who rode their bikes fast, albeit a little wobbly on the tyres.

While storekeepers did grumble about the paucity of shoppers, it would be wrong to say that all shopping malls wore a desolate look. People did trickle in - however, the recent economic slump had made the to-be-distributed gifts less extravagant than last year’s.

So out went the Swarovski-studded idols, making way for more pocket-friendly deities, exotic champagnes and Merlot bottles fizzled out in favour of their domestic partners, sparkling diamonds and platinum were left unpurchased with people preferring their more ‘humble’ gold and silver counterparts…

Even companies that had showered generous gifts on their employees last year, made do with sensible one kg sweetboxes.

Children, flanked by their parents, pointed at the firecrackers on bright display in glittering windows and at roadside stalls, which seemed less than the bountiful display evident in 2007. Because of the steep prices the firecrackers commanded, the visibly-disappointed children had to contend with 2-3 boxes as compared to the indulgent 8-10 packs they had burst last year.

Thankfully though, this year, because of more stringent rules, the elderly, the ill, children, pets and other animals might sleep a bit more peacefully as compared to the fitful sleep they kept dozing in and out of, last year.

With ears that don’t quite hurt as much.

And maybe you will be able to see the car threading its way through the neighbourhood gate this year. Which is more than what you could squint at, last year, through the thick smoke that enveloped the street outside your home.

And maybe your Grandpa’s asthmatic cough this year might not get aggravated...making you too breathe easy...

Wish you all a warm, sparkling, prosperous, and safe Diwali!

Wanna spread some color in your life?

The grip and the hurl are unmistakably accurate.

Splashhhhhhhhhhhh.

And if you are lucky to escape the deftly-tossed balloon the first time, don’t clap your hands merrily and shake in glee. It might be a tad too soon. The very next moment, who knows, you may be shaking your pretty head because of the water-filled balloon that hits you smack, bang on target. That you shake with the utter chill of it all, with simultaneous teeth-chattering, and a frayed temper to boot – well, what can I say except that boy! You sure sound like one nifty multitasker. Tee hee.

These words come from someone who’s been at the receiving end…of well-pitched balloons. Someone who’s flared her nostrils, hitched her sleeves symbolic of confrontation, gritted her teeth and bitten her lips to keep from hurling a string of abuses that would make the ears of a sailor / fisherman turn beetroot red, put her hands on her hips – and all because of a well-aimed balloon that she forgot to duck, and which hit her BANG!. Much to her visible annoyance. !@#$%^&*

And the balloon-tossing starts well in advance. So say, a cool twenty-days before Holi, the Indian festival of colors, a balloon, flung in a way which can only be comparable to a participant in the Olympic javelin throw competition, lands on the intended target – YOU. Leaving you wet, cross, and cussing.

As the festival approaches, the days only get worse. Even nights don’t offer any relief, giving the aimers the added advantage of pitch darkness ensuring that their faces remain anonymous.

It’s open warfare then. Buckets, pichkaris, water pistols, mugfuls, and the odd tomato / egg make an appearance. And how!

Hapless victims run pell-mell in colonies. Little Johnny head in air would be wise to keep an eye as well in front, cos if he’s only keeping it on the second-floor devils armed with water-gear, he would soon get some tell-tale wet marks on his tummy, back or nape. Besides hoots of well-audible guffaws at his expense.

A day before Holi, if you do not count yourself amongst the adventurous ones, it is best to lock yourself indoors. Because if you are to venture out, stern-look-on-face-firmly-in-place, chances are that you might just be engulfed in a bear-hug by someone who you may have never set eyes upon before, but who nevertheless envelopes you in his brawny arms, and proceeds to smear dry (or wet color – depending on your luck) all over your already-crimson face, hair, and neck. And before you can extricate yourself from this delicate position, you would be deafened by a “Holi Hain” chant, and then within seconds left alone on the lane, looking very very foolish with clean clothes, and a face that would compete with the best of ‘em Aztec warriors / Red Indian chiefs after a major victory. (Putting some feathers on your head would complete the picture, if you get the drift…)

Face smarting, some with fury, some with the color that has crept into your mouth, you spit your way back to home sweet home. A vigorous shower later, you emerge – clean-smelling and clean-feeling, utterly exhausted. After all, who would have known that the dratted color would make its way into your ears and entrench itself into your soft hair, which while lathering, would leave rainbow-colored rivers in its wake? With a face raw after several minutes of scrubbing, that too with that new pumice stone (tsk tsk), you either:

a) swear revenge
b) swear to go off Holi altogether

I proceeded from from point (a) to resigned (b).

No wonder, I’m getting all my door locks checked.

After all, next Saturday isn’t all that far away (Shudder)!

It's Valentine's...

So today, we had some regular people who decided to leave everyone dazzled on account of their crimson-colored clothes.

There were yet some more who insisted on asking everyone their plans, since it was D-Day, all the while smiling knowledgeably, clutching mushy teddy bears and other furry animals of the like.

You obviously, couldn’t help but also notice how the entire world seemed to be whispering sweet nothings into willing ears, while simultaneously making coochie-coo sounds, clasping hands, and guaranteeing perfectly synced heartbeats.

And before you think this is my trademark tirade, hold your horses!

Who am I trying to kid?

It’s Valentine’s.

It’s beautiful.

It’s lovely.

It makes you melt in spite of yourself.

It’s tender.

And ohhhh, it does adoringly tug at your heartstrings.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Go ahead and win your love.

Go Cast a Spell

Take out that black gown and cape, mascara, kohl, and red lipper(Broom optional).
It's Halloween!
This Celtic observation has, in recent years, caught on in our country too.
Halloween parties are all the rage, what with children (and their parents) spending lavishly on costumes that make you jump out of your skin.
Leading shops in Khan Market and Gurgaon offer costumes on rent too(so you needn't spend a small fortune to go dressed as that particularly spooky vampire, zombie, ghoul, goblin, or witch).
The foodies needn't be disappointed - there are loads of candies, pumpkin pies, treacle tarts, and bonfire toffees to choose from - all available easily at your regular confectionery shop(But with today being the second day of the three-day Delhi bandh, I'm not all that sure. Why didn't you stock up before, silly?)
And hey, that big turnip and pumpkin has nother use too - go carve it into a scary face, and light a candle inside(you might want to take help from a sibling / friend here - twice the fun, half the effort).
Happy scaring.