A Whale of a Job (Literally)

This January 12, the entire world went into a tizzy.

The reason – the Queensland State Tourism Department, in a marvellous stroke of sheer brilliance, ran full length advertisements of what it chose to describe the ‘Best job of the world.’

The vacancy in question – a six-month contract that involves spending six-months on Hamilton Island (a tropical Australian island in the Great Barrier Reef), in the capacity of caretaker.

In what could only be termed a blitzkrieg of advertisements, the job was everywhere – splashed in international newspapers, websites, glossies, radio, television – the works.

Understandably, the list of applicants was immense – scoring over 34,000 wishful aspirants.

And now, last week, the results for this coveted job came out.

A British Charity worker Ben Southall, trounced the lengthy list of candidates, to emerge victorious. He takes away with him a deal of a whopping $150,000, and starts his official duties this July.

As if that were not enough for us to envy him, you might just want to go through the list of his assigned tasks to turn that shade of emerald:

• Post a weekly blog
• Keep photo diaries
• Create video updates
• Sample luxury spa treatments
• Enjoy activities like snorkelling, kayaking, sailing, bungee-jumping, diving, Ostrich riding, and of course, tamer ones like picnics and bushwalking.

Oh, and did I mention that he gets to stay in one of possibly the loveliest sea-facing villas on the island...with his partner?

Do I hear you sigh yet?

The (Un)willing Groom

Indian guys are luckier than guys in other nations. On their marriage day, it is customary for some Indian grooms to sit on a white mare.

Talk about getting a last, providential chance to escape….

Their less-fortunate counterparts on the other hand, keep thinking why they did not invest in those superbly-crafted running shoes, that would have carried them far-far away to safety…to the land of the five Bs – Budweisers, Boys’ night outs, Bikes and let me not write the last two which go hand-in-hand, and which if I make a mention here, will cause my blog rating to change from a neat PG13 to an A.

Unfortunately, a Japanese guy, Tatsuhiko Kawata , who was due to get married on October 26 this year, decided that he couldn’t get the better of his decidedly clammy case of cold feet. And he wasn’t even to be given a horse to sit on.

A decidedly raw deal, he was certain.

Which is when the 39-year old, unwilling-groom-to-be, hit upon a brilliant plan.

In the week hours of Sunday, he set fire to the hotel that was to have been the venue for his marriage later that day. And cancelled the wedding thereafter.

The cancelling-act did him in, because he was arrested soon after.

After he is released from prison, I sure hopes he invests in some heavy-duty protection wear, including the toughest helmet money can buy, and maybe a bouncer for himself. Sturdy pair of ear muffs – optional.

After all, you never know what ‘gifts’ his (now-ex)fiancée will be bestowing upon him...

Black Eyed Peas - Black Blue and You World Tour - Bangalore - October 16.

It’s official.

The Black Eyed Peas (BEP), who gave their India trip a skip eight months back, are going to be performing in Bangalore on October 16. The venue will be the same place which usually hosts such events – Bangalore Palace Grounds. The show will mark the mid-leg of their ‘Black Blue and You’ World Tour 2007, which commenced on September 13, wherein the band will perform in 13 countries, and also bring in the release of their latest album "E N D."

At a time when the band’s leading lady, Stacy “Fergie” “Dutchess” Ferguson is riding high on winning MTV’s Best Female Artist Award, their timing couldn’t have been more perfect.

Once again, another band gives the capital their version of a royal ignore. Save the thrash / death metal band, Sepultura, that is slated to perform on October 28, and the hip-hop rapper Akon who performed to a luke-warm reception early this month in Delhi (despite his voluble I-am-charmed-with-India-declarations), most bands have preferred to keep their performances for a more “receptive” audience in Bangalore, Mumbai, and Shillong.

Quite a bleak state for us poor people in Delhi, who would also like to shake their booty to foot-tapping numbers, and who keep getting blue in the face by shouting hoarse for bands to perform here. Sigh!

As for the people in Bangalore, I bet they are all chanting, “Let’s Get It Started,” in full gusto!

@#$%^&*!

Just another game of chess...

Seems like there is more to Russia than Glasnost, Perestroika, a certain leggy blonde tennis player, that drink most often sipped with orange juice – vodka, caviar, space programs, and Faberge eggs. Whoa! Looking back, that was quite a list.

But I’m afraid, I am deviating from the main story.

Three days back, Russian Former World Chess champion, Garry Kasparov, was elected as a Presidential candidate, slated to run for Russian President in March 2008.

Discussion with TOOMA* last night brought up interesting revelations. He likened the game of chess to a long-drawn out political battle, where one opponent goes all out to overwhelm the other. I liked the analogy.

With Kasparov having played chess since the age of 6, this 44-year old sure is one seasoned “player.” Despite not having been in the political arena for long (he joined in 2005), his entry does bring back memories of how, in the 1980s, he was considered to have the “gall” to play opposite the undisputed chess champion, Anatoly Karpov, and more importantly, making him (Karpov) relinquish his much-coveted title. All the while making it seem like a piece of cake.

Now it’s time for us to wait and watch if Kasparov plays a neat round of checkmating Putin, whom he refers to as a “dictator.”

I just hope it doesn’t end in a stalemate.

* TOOMA : The Object of My Affection.

In the Blues...

Halle Berry

Britney Spears

Del Synnott

Besides being your average list of Hollywood’s beautiful people, the above names have done more than sparked off interest in their luck-kissed lives. They have quite a few things in common – having lent their names to million-dollar brand endorsements, flashed those pearlies, arm-in-arm with other beautiful people at red-carpet and other gala events, and graced numerous magazines and newspapers.

Additionally - they all, have some time or the other, attempted suicide.

Owen Wilson, he of the 13-times broken nose, twinkling eyes, and lopsided grin, considered Hugh Grant’s American equivalent of the archetypical romantic actor, decided to join the unenviable list above. Thankfully, he lives to tell his tale.

Three days back, he fell prey to a broken spirit three days back, ODed on sleeping pills, and slashed his wrists. Speculation is rife over the reasons that led him to take such an extreme action. The most prominent rumor doing the rounds is that he was suffering prolonged bouts of the blues, following his much-splashed-in-the-tabloids, very very public breakup with a popular blonde actress.

Which brings me to the all-important question. Why do such people, seemingly living lives that others would kill for, try to take their own lives? What led a prominent singer like Jerry Hadley to shoot himself in the head last month, an act that claimed his life?

Seems like the black feelings of rejection, gloom, separation and isolation spare no one from their fangs, doing Octopus numbers on all.

Quite Some Monkey Business This

There’s quite a lot you can hide from view under a hat.

Must be what some airport officials must be repeating to each other, and rolling their eyes in disbelief in the bargain.

Seems like an enterprising passenger, flying from Peru to the US, managed to conveniently smuggle a monkey under his hat.

I don’t blame you – I also shook my head in a) incredulity, and b) mirth when I first heard the news.

So coming back to the passenger in question, he smoothly walked past customs in Peru, reached Florida, and boarded another plane to New York. Quite a cool, unruffled, cucumber, I must say.

I'm certain he didn’t tip his hat off in respect to anyone. Or give a wobbly curtsy.

The monkey business wouldn’t have been found out, had it not been for the simian making up its mind to take a peep from under its hideaway, in teh middle of the flight, much to the other passengers’ astonishment, replaced soon by alarm.

I would have been startled too if I would have suddenly set my eyes upon my co-passenger, and seen another pair of glittering eyes peeping out from under his hat, when he had a perfectly normal pair perched on his face...

Understandably, all hell broke loose on the flight, and harried crew-members tried their utmost to hold down the hysterical passengers.

The errant passenger held the monkey in his hands throughout the rest of the flight.
It was only when the flight reached its destination – New York’s Guardia Airport, and the Police Department escorted the passenger and the monkey off the craft, that the others heaved a collective sigh of relief.

I’m sure the situ must have been grim for the answerable officials in Peru and Florida who, despite the snazziest of gadgets and stringent security methods, had failed to detect the grinning ape. One humble pie lesson that sure it would have been.

Me – I would have loved being on that flight.

It sure would have been more funny than a barrel of monkeys (pun intended);-)

Dash in a flash....

The other day a guy friend told me about the vanities of the female sex.

And about the more than ample time on their prettily-manicured hands to pander to these vanities.

Point in question – St. Petersburg hosted a run for women wearing...

Hold your horses, all you pervs out there.

The participants had to wear stilettos, with a minimum height of 9 cms (3.5 inches).

And if you thought that most would turn up their pretty noses at the event, think again.

More than a hundred Russian women turned up, to sweat it out for this 100-meter High-Heel Race.

What were they all running for, you might ask?

The prize was a $2,000 shopping-spree.

Not bad, eh?

Now if only they would hold such stuff here in India, I’m sure quite a few of my friends would sprint it out...

New Seven Wonders of the World: Results.

The results are out.

The New 7 Wonders campaign is out with the new Seven Wonders of the World. The results were announced at a star-studded, glittering ceremony in Lisbon, Portugal.

Out of the 21 finalists, the 7 that emerged winners are:

1. Our very own Taj Mahal, a symbol of love and passion.
2. Chichen Itza (Yucatan, Mexico) - symbol of worship, knowledge.
3. Great Wall (China) – a symbol of perseverance, persistence.
4. Machu Picchu (Cuzco, Peru) – a symbol of community, dedication.
5. Petra (Jordan) – symbol of engineering, protection.
6. Christ the Redeemer (Rio de Janeiro) – symbol of welcoming, openness.
7. Roman Colosseum (Rome, Italy) – symbol of joy, suffering.

From the original seven wonders of the ancient world, only the Great Pyramids of Giza retained their status in addition to the new seven.

The campaign, launched in 1999 by Swiss film producer, author, and aviator, Bernard Weber, is the first ever global voting campaign, and garnered a staggering response. Over 100 million votes were cast by people globally.

I remember when I first wrote about this global voting here, five months back, the Taj was lagging at the tenth spot. Within a surprisingly short time, people swung into action – phone calls were made, e-mails were shot, messages were texted, the works…

The results are for all to see.

Wah Taj, Wah!

Get a Bear Hug...

With the frenetic speed with which technology is dashing, is it any surprise that textiles were to be left behind?

After smart phones, flameless candles, flame and heat-resistant microwave mitts, biometric fingerprint keypad locks, video doorphone systems, the latest to join the bandwagon are hug shirts.

And pray, what are those, you might ask.

Sample this:

Scenario (A) – A lone soldier, stationed at a glacial base, last met his wife seven months back. Although he is grateful that his trusty mobile enables him to chat with wifey dear off and on, the physical warmth of a hug is sorely missed. Enter the Hug Shirt. One text message, and our soldier is able to send a hug or a squeeze to his better half.

Cynics / skeptics may point out that the market for such a product is minimal, and that there is no substitute for the real thing; others like me, might argue that in a state like that of the soldier in question, the hug shirt could very well be like Manna from heaven, and more than a blessed relief.

Scenario (B) (And this may strike a chord with quite a few) – Your beloved is on foreign shores. And you would give anything to exchange that squeeze that you both adore. Your hug shirt proves handy here, and lo and behold, though you may not be able to hold him / her in that tight bear-hug, you do get more a physical sensation akin to a hug, which is so much better than one of those virtual hugs handed over e-mail by nauseously-pink teddy bears.

The novel technology is a brainchild of Francesca Rosella and Ryan Genz, co-founders of the 2004 established Interactive Design and Wearable Technology company – CuteCircuit.

The soft lycra shirt, which recreates the sensation of a hug over distance, has sensors capable of measuring the “strength of touch, skin warmth, and the heart rate of the sender. Actuators that are capable of recreating the sensation of touch and warmth are also embedded in the shirt. Both actuators and sensors are placed in a kind of “technology sandwich” which can be removed, making the shirt washable. During the testing of the shirts, major intensity points wer identified on upper arms, on the upper back part during a condolatory hug, around the waistline, neck, shoulders, and hips.”

Have I got you animated? These are all you need to send / receive hugs to / from your loved ones:
a) A Hug Shirt (but actually)
b) Bluetooth and Java-enabled mobile phone with a Hug Me” software running on it
c) A sender / recipient with the same equipment

I guess there might be a fair share of people out there, willing to spend for the Hug Shirt, due to be released mid-2007 (aren’t we almost there).

And no, it isn’t gonna be that expensive. Expect to shell out the same as you would for an iPod Nano:-)

See the podcast here.

Set the ball rolling with Zorbing.

You’ve obviously heard of astronauts.

You probably harbored a secret ambition to be one yourself.

Ever heard of a zorbonaut, though?

Before you roll your eyes expressively, and put it down to another of my moniker-generating days, let me stop you right there.

And assert that there are actually people out there called zorbonauts.

Who participate in an extreme adventure sport, called zorbing.

What in the world is that, you might ask.

I don’t blame you. I hadn’t heard of it too long ago myself.

A relatively “new” adventure sport, zorbing originated in that country that spawned bungee jumping.

Yep, I’m talking of the Kiwi country here - New Zealand.

For the adrenaline junkies, zorbing could offer that thrill.

The “zorb” is a PVC inflatable sphere, about three metres in height, and contains another smaller sphere, suspended into position by numerous nylon strands.

As many as three people can be comfortably ensconced in the air-cushioned zorb at one time.

And then, you set the ball rolling.

Now you might ask, wouldn’t I be extremely uncomfortable in the sphere?

Further, if I’m in the zorb with a couple of friends, wouldn’t we be all over each other.

The answer is N-O.

You (and your friends) will be pinned to the inside by a centrifugal force.

Sounds kinda neat, doesn’t it?

There are very few specifications for this sport.

The first is that there should be a gentle slope for the zorb to roll down.

A steep gradient, on the other hand, will have you:

a) Screaming like a banshee for Mamma Mia

b) Hurtling down at breakneck speed, as if there’s no tomorrow

The second is that you shouldn’t be anywhere inside the zorb on that full tummy. I mean, that’s elementary, folks.

I made a few inquiries, and found out that we have zorbing right here in the country too. In the Solang Valley, Himachal Pradesh, where you can do zorbing – at a reasonably priced Rs. 300 per person.

Almost makes me wanna take that ride to HP.

But then, I am not known to be the best of malingerers.

But for those of you who find the very idea of being strapped inside a bouncy ball stimulating, and right up your street, zorbing it is for you.

Check the original New Zealand Zorb site here.

And see the Youtube video below.

Soft Toys in that Skoda - Eeeeks

Now I like cars. A lot.

I mean, who doesn’t?

But what really peeves me are the weird soft toys that have of late started making their presence felt in the space behind the back seats of almost every third car that zips along.

You know what’s worse? They are not limited to your average teddy bears / cuddly dogs / golliwogs / pixies.

I bet you might not have read as many fairy tales in your childhood, as see the plethora of fairy tale / Disney / Brothers Grimm characters that cast glassy looks at you (if you happen to be the unfortunate person behind a car that “boasts” of such unique decoration devices).

Glass-slippered Cinderella , Virtuous Snow White (complete with her ever-obliging seven dwarfs), the in-quest-of-a-lip-lock frog prince, nimble-fingered Geppetto and his mendacious marionette, Pinocchio, bow-legged, doe-eyed deer- Bambi, glass-slippered Cinderella, the quintessentially-young-refusing-to-grow-up Peter Pan , crooked pirate Captain Cook, slumbering Sleeping Beauty, Goldilocks, and the other raven-haired Rapunzel, Mousey Mickey Mouse, Daffy duck, jumpy Jiminy Cricket, the-bear-with-a-penchant-for-speaking-in-verse Yogi bear, Charlie Brown, Tom Thumb – you name it, the stuffed toy will be there somewhere in one of your regular Archies galleries. Blech.

Though some people do go in rapturous “Oooooooooooooooohs” and "Oooh cho-chweets"(the kinds that are doubtlessly going to leave me with Type II diabetes)upon seeing these “cuddlies” (shudder!), I fall in the latter category that feels instantly repelled after catching even one glimpse of their stuffed faces, and often feel like
a) ripping them with my trusty pair of scissors
b) guffawing openly on the faces of their owners
c) cringing
d) all of the above.

Goodness gracious – is that really Snow White, complete with her ever-obliging seven dwarfs in the back of that Civic? The beady eyes are on you for a second, before thankfully, the silver auto speeds along. Gosh – what was the owner thinking?

I don’t think I’d ever understand. Would you?

New Seven Wonders of the World

The Seven Wonders of the World are going to be assessed afresh.

A Swiss organization, New Open World Corporation(NOWC), has come up with a poll, with 21 finalists.

The best part - you and I can vote:-)

The results will be declared 142 days later, on 07.07.07.
Go ahead, cast your vote here.

P.S. - While all countries are all geared up for the voting, Egypt seems to have taken a major offence to this fresh analysis.

No music for our ears

Why is it that the city I am in (which by the way, happens to be the capital of the country) always gets step-motherly treatment from any band that intends to play in the country?

Most bands (and I am talking rock here), usually give Delhi a miss.

What with Pink Floyd’s former member, Roger Waters scheduled to perform this month on the 18th in Mumbai, and Iron Maiden to perform in Bangalore next month, Delhi finds itlsef sidelined once again.

Now it’s not that the capital doesn’t have its fair share of rock aficionados; it’s not even that there aren’t any watering holes that cater exclusively to this genre(guys guys, think TC and Café Morrison) – why then does Delhi miss out on all the action?

Not fair.

Hmphhhhh.

Osama dead?

With my mother currently in Assam, an insurgency-ridden state, it is but natural for me to read anything because of which the state is in the news.

Imagine my surprise when I read that Osama bin Laden had been hunted and killed in the state.

Disbelief writ large on my face, I read further.

Apparently a 10-feet tall jumbo also shared its name with the most dreaded and hunted-for man on the face of this earth.

The namesake pachyderm, known for terrorizing the people of Assam for over two years, was killed yesterday in a tea plantation.

Whether it was the same elephant that had caused so many people to live in constant fear, is not completely sure, but the Assam local assembly, which had ordered the killing, is in the line of fire definitely, with several conservationists and animal welfare activists bitterly criticizing the killing.

With India being home to almost half of the dwindling Asian elephant population in the world, this issue will certainly not go down well.

Watch this space for more news.

New UN Secretary-General

Like many other Indians, I too was disappointed that Shashi Tharoor would not be the next UN General-Secretary after Kofi Annan.
The eighth UN Secretary-General will now be South Korean Ban Ki-moon.
Though already sworn-in today, the septuagenarian diplomat will only assume his new responsibility on January 1, 2007, when Kofi Annan steps down.
Good luck to him.