Going on a free spree

Twenty years back, people would collect coins and stamps. Today, in a world where promotional campaigns hand you free sample stuff by the dozen, the average freebie lover couldn’t have asked for more.

There are however those who take this passion for giveaways to an altogether low, I mean – high. What else can explain a 40-something lady queuing-up for the gratis 30 ml bottle of shampoo which she will never use? Not even to bathe her pet canine. Or the average office-goer who makes his routine visit to the office stationery store, smacking his lips at the thought of all those collectibles he would bag that day.

Is it the unmistakable, hard-to-resist complimentary offer?
Is it an almost caveman-like instinct to accumulate?
Is it a junkaholic mindset?
Is it the practical ‘try before you buy’ logic?
Is it subliminal messaging that reaches out to that most primeval of emotions - greed?
Or does it go beyond?

There is the all too familiar episode from that much-loved sitcom F*R*I*E*N*D*S* - nerdy Ross and the constantly-unable-to-resist-blurting-his-tongue-in-cheek-humor Chandler decide that the best way to seek revenge on the Vermont hotel which does not believe in making refunds, is to pack their suitcases with the ‘free stuff’ that the hotel has on offer. Now, while we've really gotta cut Ross some slack – the poor guy was high on maple candy, you do get the drift, don’t you?

Before going any further, let me add that I am all for material things, lest you think that I’ve achieved some sort of zen-like detachment for spouting the above. I understand the lucrative nature of freebie marketing that propels such promotional marketing, what I fail to grasp is the rationale behind people stocking up on things that hold no value for them.

Some random examples -

- The blessed-with-glowing-skin college girl who eagerly stretches her hand for the promo pack of the anti-acne cream.
- The diabetic gentleman who happily waits his turn for the salesman who is handing out free chocolates and calorific potato wafers.
- The teetotaller who caresses his miniature liquor bottles lovingly.
- The corporate hotels employee who arranges yet another register among his ever-burgeoning stash at home.
- The middle-aged couple who wait every two years to visit the Auto Expo – so as to collect varieties of automobile calendars – both wall and desk ones, and the glossy magazines that their tired fingers would never leaf through.
- Another fairly common example is often seen in intercontinental flights where passengers ask cabin crew to hand them dental sets and promptly stow them in their oversized travel bags. (How they brush their teeth without the help of the dental set is something I wouldn’t bother to know).

The prize specimen called the buffet specialist is quite another story though – greed surpassing all other reasons that he may have, as he strides purposefully to the generous buffet on display. After all - breakfast was on the house. Several minutes later, you can hardly see him behind his heaped plate, though you can discern the chomp-chomp sounds that come from him. He devours the items as swiftly as he makes his ‘loot’ disapparate from the table - I’m talking coin-sized packets of peanut butter, jelly, marmalade, pats of butter, cheese cubes and slices – the works. It’s a wonder he leaves the kiwi fruit, though you do notice him looking forlornly at them…

Some people may deny the allegations in the couple of paragraphs above. Their defence is that they like ‘collecting’ stuff. Maybe they identify with pack rats. Well, some definitely need to look beyond this delusion, and kiss their junkaholic ‘Hoard and Clutter’ syndrome goodbye.

Whatever be the case, there really is some truth in that adage – One man’s junk is another man’s treasure.