So the other day, after an excruciating 9 hour-something stretch of work, even the bumpy ride home in my office cab couldn’t keep me from putting my head back on the seat and (wobbly ride notwithstanding) trying to grab some much-needed shut-eye.
So when, a little over an hour later, the vehicle dropped bleary-eyed me to my residence, I could scarcely keep myself from closing my eyes. After the pain-in-the-rear ascending the stairs (which I managed to totter through like a tipsy gypsy), a quick dinner, some sweet-nothings on the phone with TOOMA - and I was ready to call it a day.
The bed beckoned invitingly, and sure enough, I was off to sleep in a trice.
Holy Cow!!!!
What in the name of all that is merciful, WAS that!?
As I woke up with a start, I couldn’t help but grit my teeth and spout unpublishable-names for my second-floor neighbours, who had taken it upon themselves to do a dummy run of their undoubtedly new idiot box / sound system.
And boy! Could the darn thing screech!
As I rubbed my knees and invoked the names of all the names of the deities I could recollect to calm myself down, and try to return to slumberland, some stray thoughts of revenge did cross my mind. After all, midnight is hardly a time to sound out your new woofers.
And it’s not that it was the first time. So forgiveness was really not on the cards. This was unpardonable.
To cut matters short, I hiked the blanket over my ears, muttered some more cussing remarks which included doing some unmentionable acts with one’s sister, and slept with both ears plugged.
The very next morning, a throbbing headache announced its arrival, and bore stark testimony to the unforgivable act perpetrated by them pesky neighbours below.
I sought refuge in the arms of one of my most dependable friends – the World Wide Web. And guess, what I found?
Aptly named, ‘Revenge CD,’ this $8 CD is bound to make your pesky neighbours sit up, and take notice.
Besides rue about the day they disturbed your sleep. Cos they would get none now.
The 20 tracks on the CD are bound to haunt and distress them to the very core. And serve the pests right.
The manufacturers have even included a pair of handy earplugs, so that, when your neighbours are squealing in despair / horror / disgust / irritation / what have you, and hunting you to throttle and / or shoot you, you can just sit back, with your feet up, and enjoy languorous sips from your trusty hip-flask.
Just in case this kind of vendetta is just up your street (I read you right - you DO have that streak of sadism in you - full marks to me), let me tickle you some more by telling you what these annoying 20 tracks are.
In no particular order, here they are: Drill, House Party, Orgasm, Train, Drum, High Heels, Cat in Heat, Doors Banging, Towering Rage, Unhappy Dog, Violin Practice, Traffic Jam, Garbage Truck, New Born, Phone Ringing, Ball Game, Pigeons, Spring Cleaning,Cock-A-Doodle-Doo.
Ohh, did I forget to perhaps mention Inhuman Screams?
Pure genius, I tell you *(Devil grin)*
Get it here.
Your neighbours wouldn't forget you in a hurry.
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