While the verdict is yet to be decided by corporates as to whether employees decorating their workstations is a good or a not-so-good idea, many an employee does decorate, or pardon me, upgrade his workstation, so that dusty Dilli becomes some cool Caribben island – thanks to the aqua recycled wrapping sheet that abounds near him.
So while you have a Mister who prefers to line up his awards and honors – yep all 18 of ‘em right next to his laptop, there could also be the holiday junkie who insists the entire team sees her last trip to the Bahamas – through the countless pictures that dot her display board. If that isn’t distracting enough, she ensures anyone who is two arms away from her monitor does not feel left out – what with the blinking, rapidly-changing screensavers that show her in all types of (unflattering) clothes. Tres chic can totally take a hike, thank you very much! There are also the zillion images of her nieces and nephews, her canine pet, her human pet (sheesh), you name it…
They don’t call this dude’s workstation a temple for nothing – new employees have been known to stop to pay their tribute to the Gods that reside there and wait for the daily prasadam, until they figure out that the temple is a mile away.You can’t blame the new joinee – you’d stop and look closely too – scratching your head, when you find that all those idols and images of deities that belonged to a temple, were housed in his workstation. At least the incense stays unlit, in the packet – thank God for small mercies.
Then there’s the girl who drinks gallons of water and makes regular trips to
a) fill her bottle(s) of water
and
b) take a leak
She also insists that you keep a marked bottle near you, so as to gauge whether you’ve drank enough water throughout the day. While she glugs water faithfully, you wonder if she should perhaps keep a goldfish in all that water. Would be a nice touch indeed! Except that her daily monotone about how one should consume enough water throughout the day will cause the fish to get swollen bellies…
This guy’s middle name is nico-menthol-caffeine. Two coffee mugs, a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, a matchbox (for safety measure), some mints and a couple of throat lozenges decorate his workstation. A safety hazard is the first term that comes to your mind when you cross his workstation. It’s a wonder the water sprnkler doesn’t drench him from above…
Another chap’s workstation looks straight out of the ‘pages’ of a stationery shop – pens, highlighters, staplers and their pins, thumb tacks, colored post-its – you name it – it’s sitting prettily on his desk. It’s a wonder he manages to find something below that pile.
Then there is the ‘stressed’ guy – what else can explain the array of stress balls, foam rubber stress relievers, and both metallic and neon colored helical coil springs that lie scattered around his desk. I can imagine the conversation trail that could follow when his office extension phone rings:
Stressed guy: Allo
X – Hey, how goes it?
Stressed guy: Not really a great day. Just squeezing my balls.
X – Erm,, gotta go. Bye!
Hasn’t the guy heard of beer? And if that’s a little out of place in an office envronment, maybe he should try chocolate. Works every time, doesn’t it?
There are also the ones whose chocolate wrappers envelope their workstation. Munch-Munch-Munch-they go like pine sawyers. There is the girl who swears by all things organic - jute boxes, some potpourri, green notepads, a khadi bag - all lie strewn around where she works. There is also the guy who has calendars galore – one from the NGO he supports, one a personalised one, one with a deity, one with a so-called holy man’s image atop, and another from a random greeting cards giant. One calendar is enough for most – but not for him. For others like me, the calendar on my phone is more than enough. Thank you very much!
Others also find their way on this list – the guy who hero-worships any death / goth / hard rock band. Bizarre pictures of pink-haired punks with panda eyes, air strumming, attired in what can only be termed a designer’s nightmare (read ripped jeans, stringy tees), adorn this guy’s workstation. Any moment, you expect throbbing drum strains to reach your ears. The Fen Shui expert is another model sample – the laughing Buddha looks you over, ‘lucky’ animals – a dragon, a money frog, a tortoise and a pair of lions – are parked near her seat, as is a ‘lucky’ bamboo, some pieces of pointed crystal, and what looks like an ancient coin. Too bad she forgot the wind chimes at home!
Lastly, there is the girl who takes her being blessed with green fingers theory a step further. It’s difficult for you to spot her petite self behind all that flora – a potted bonsai, a cactus, and a mini-shrub with a blooming damask rose. What’s gonna be next – people flocking to see her garden instead of the President’s?
As for me – some sheets of paper, a pen that writes intermittently, and a dog-eared notepad are all that site near me at the workplace.
What about you?
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