Movie Review: Spiderman 3

Friday late night, bleary-eyed me set out, despite a hectic day at work, to catch Spidey in action once again.

Pretty ambitious, I must say.

Turned out to be quite a bad choice though.

Umpteen cups of coffee / buttery popcorn at its best / nachos with cheese or salsa dips / corn-on-the cobs – all will fail to keep you in your seats to watch the third installment of your favorite Marvel comics’ superhero, Spiderman 3.

Despite the big, fat budget (according to official budgets, Spiderman 3 cost producers a whopping $300 million. Jeeeeez), Sam Raimi goofs-up, leaving us more than a tad disappointed, especially since he did more than a commendable job directing the first two parts (as also giving us the creeps in Evil Dead 1 & 2).

Ahhh, expectations, expectations.

We had lots of them from this one.

Which unfortunately fell flat, after the super-stretched around 2.5 hours Spidey 3.

From the initial shot of Mary Jane Watson (MJ), played by a pokerfaced Kirsten Dunst, walking down the glittery stage in her aspiring Broadway actress avatar, right to the very end of the flick, I had the same deadpan look on my face. Don’t blame me – you’d probably have had the same expression too. Don't believe me? Go ahead, book yourself a ticket.

Taking the story forward, Spidey 3 opens with the world being Peter Parker / Spiderman’s (Tobey Maguire) oyster. After all, he’s the toast of the town, is comfortably placed as a photographer in the Daily Bugle, and is all energized to pop the question to MJ over champagne and music. The only nagging thought is his souring friendship with his once best pal, Harry Osborne (the utterly-delectable James Franco), who holds him responsible for his father’s death, and who, post an amnesiac spell and all, turns into the alternative iniquitous Green Goblin.

Things start getting terribly awry with the arrival of a black symbiote on the scene (Where? How? When? – you’ll ask. I asked the same too, to my date. He was as clueless as I was). Well, the black, gooey, symbiote very conveniently latches on to Spidey a’la Mary’s Little Lamb. And decides to attach itself to Spiderman’s red and blue costume, causing it to turn a wicked black. Pardon the pun.

As soon as our very own Spidey dons his now black costume, he finds his webbed powers enhanced, but also finds himself enmeshed in hitherto new emotions of pride, hatred, and vendetta.

So we see him planting a kiss on the luscious lips of Gwen Stacy (played by a very pregnant Bryce Dallas Howard, last seen in two forgettable flicks by M.Night Shyamalan), the blonde whose life he saves. We also see the usually reticent Spiderman gushing about his high rating on the NYC popularity meter. We see him trying his feet at dance, again with Gwen, and not the insecure-depressing MJ. Not all of them scenes we would have liked to see.

We also see him grappling with his inner turmoil. We gasp! see him sobbing, when his petite lady-love walks out on him.

Pretty reminiscent of the vulnerable James Bond we saw last year. And whom we liked pretty much.. which is more than what we can say about Maguire this time.
The story gets more entangled, what with an escaped-convict, Flint Marco (Thomas Haden Church), a.k.a. Sand Man, and Eddie Brock (Topher Grace), a Justin Timberlake-ish looking photographer, who, while praying for Spiderman’s death in a church, has the symbiote take over him, and finds himself as the newest villain on the block, Venom.
The only saving grace was the superbly executed duel between Parker and Harry, a whizzing combat set amidst the dizzying New York skyscrapers.

But then, you’d hardly go to watch that one splendidly done shot in the theaters, right? You need more, like everybody else, don't you?

But if you do decide to go for it, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

And yeah, don’t wait for the intermission to order that giant-popcorn-combo.

Do the honors right at the beginning of the movie.

You’ll be needing it to munch your way through the movie.

Or keep stifling yawns, the way I did!