(B)ADVERTISEMENTS

So you want that toned body?
Not to worry...
Don’t join a gym, don’t even go for those yoga or dance practice classes.
Heck, kick those kick boxing sessions too.
Just reach out for that green bar of firming soap.
It promises to be quite an “uplifting” experience, and bring you closer to that Shakira-esque / Beyonce bootylicious body.

Yeah right!!!

And I am Princess Diana, may I add.

With the spate of products rolling out into the market every day, and the equally swift way in which consumers (read you and me) lap them up like hot cakes, it’s kinda known that you manufacture something, arouse people’s curiosity, make some TALL claims, and Bingo! Some bloke’s gonna go out pronto and buy it.

So thus, we are inundated with toothpastes that guarantee sparkling teeth (and dates every Saturday night); “superstars” who claim that people who drive a certain pair of wheels are “smarter;” shampoos that promise to do wonders for your receding hairline (when all that they do is empty your wallet); creams that promise you youthful, fairer skin,(or swear that they will do-away with the dark spots that you’ve had for years) and make you land that coveted job / eligible bachelor (Psssst—there’s a NEW fairness cream for men too—you interested? Chortle); cigarettes that perpetuate machismo and spirits and soda that promise you endless party nights; shoes that claim to improve your vertically-challenged stature; and sundry commercials for flour, noodles, rice, etc. that guarantee happy family-members breaking out into smiles (and worse, dances).

Some commercials, besides being a pack(or web) of lies, go beyond pomising the sky and the moon, and become downright tasteless. Don’t believe me—just think about those Sunny Deol adverts, where he talks of “inner strength,” brawny fists, “coziness,” and other similar stuff. Eeeeeks.

Right from the brainwashing India-shining adverts, to the miraculous diabetes-curing pills, to the various sauna-belt ads that promise slothful beings (like me) to lose weight, without lifting a manicured finger, advertisements have for long, propagated outrageously silly claims.
Not to be left behind, print advertisements also have their share of (B)advertisements.

A well-known Indian management guru, known more for the management school he runs and his absurd sound-bytes to the media, than his lectures, was in the line of fire when a Mumbai-youth magazine, JAM, did a commendable job in bringing out the truth.

And obviously, I’m guessing that you haven’t missed seeing those “painless epilating” ads!!