Don (Yawn)

Friday, October 20, 2006.
It started out as any other average day.
Except that we were to go watch the first day first show of the much-hyped, “Don.”
Let me add here, that we went with zero expectations, and the movie well lived up to that.
3 hours, replete with Shah Rukh Khan grinning, whispering hoarsely, baring his fangs, declaring how much he fancied "wild-cats", and some fight-scenes, saw us all emerge from the theater bleary-eyed, yawning, and exclaiming that Farhan Akhtar should go back to what he does best—1) picturising three “dudes,” in Goa / Australia 2) Changing hairstyles 3) Posing prettily for the shutterbugs 4) All the above.
The three women-Priyanka Chopra, Kareena Kapoor, and Isha Koppikar, are little more than ornamental pieces, though Priyanka definitely has the most meaty part, among the three. (She has literally taken the term "bee-stung" lips, though. Catch the promos of the film on TV, to know what I mean).
Bebo disappoints us, more so, because after having delivered a swell performance in Omkara, here she is relegated to a blink-and-you’ll-miss-her-role, “donning” a gold dress, war paint, sexy strappy sandals, and gyrating uncomfortably to the original Helen-number,”Yeh Mera Dil.’
Five minutes later, she is dead in the lift. Courtesy, the ugly-lipped Don. Bah!
Isha Koppikar casts dagger looks at Priyanka Chopra throughout the movie, while secretly looking at SRK with love-lorn eyes.
Champagne flows freely throughout(now, where was I?)
Boman Irani and Om Puri are wasted. Om Puri, more so.
Arjun Rampal as the limping Jasjit, doesn’t “walk” into our hearts either.
The music is nothing to write odes about.
The mid-air action sequence is a laugh.
SRK’s sunglasses look as if they have made their way to him, right from a scrap-dealer / local flea market.
All in all, a strictly avoidable flick.
My suggestion is, see the original “Don” on DVD.
As for me, I wish I’d seen “Open Season” instead.