My phone rings incessantly, much to my irritation. Now I don't mean that I don't like receiving phone calls.
I do, in fact, I call a fair number of people myself, and am unanimously called the fastest "message-sender" among my friends too, but when, a whole truckload of consultants who are hell-bent on making you appear for that "interview that could change your life completely," to sales people who are ingratiating at first, but when you respond to their many schemes, cell-phone plans, credit-card offerings, and all and sundry offers in the negative, take just one second to become gruff, sarcastic, or downright mean, I am so much better off without their calls, thank you.
Sample this:
My cell phone, which has till now been perched on my table quietly, decides to vibrate in full splendour, scaring the shit out of yours truly(as also startling some colleagues), all of whom have been been working diligently(till now that is).
Five rings later, casting an apologetic look (to the colleagues), an irritated me picks the blessed instrument up, walking over to the pantry.
Some bloke hollers my name. I hastily assure him that it was me, myself, and I, who had answered his call.
After asking a couple of questions, he superciliously announces that he has a cell scheme for me, that will miraculously halve my montly telecommunications bill.
I thank him for his generosity, and give a speech upon my fondness for my prepaid connection
Upon my polite declining of the offer, things take a turn for the worse, as he suddenly decides that he is an out-of-job CBI interrogator, taking upon himself the honor(?)/the privilege(??), to question me(a tad suspiciously), as to why I was turning down the fab / great / astounding offer(adding some more superlative adjectives for his scheme, which I don't care to mention).
Things become nastier, when I express a strong desire that he disconnect the line pronto, all the while shaking my shampoo-ed hair, and thinking of the work that lay before me, waiting to be completed.
The bloke on the other side becomes more and more aggressive, and I can just barely restrain myself from using some colorful language.
I snap at him and coldly ask him to disconnect the line.
He's still selling his scheme, when my patience runs out, I count 1-2-3, and hang up.
I take a deep breath, look around the pantry, practise a couple of composed expressions, and return to my workstation.
The unfinished work, which has been staring up at me, puts its accusing finger down, and I resume my work...
Peace was just not meant to be, because before 5 minutes had lapsed, my workstation table shuddered again...
Resigned to my fate, I whisper a "Hello" into the mouthpiece. An effervescent, female voice dramatically asked me if I was interested in a credit card by a reputed bank. Thankfully, she knew N-O when she heard it.
I hung up in a huff, and immersed myself in work, yet again.
The next one hour sawa string of phone calls in quick succession: a woman yelling at me for giving her blank calls(as if I have nothing better to do. Bah!), two job consultant who had not even bothered to go through my CV carefully, and wanted me to teach Linux and do Chartered Accountancy, respectively, a crank caller(who probably was getting some kicks in life by calling and breathing deeply from the other end of the phone, but not uttering a single syllable), and a sales person who had another scheme-buy two fire extinguishers, get the third free.
After I very earnestly told the last chap that I already had a fire extinguisher, and thus extinguished his call, I decided, this was it, and switched off the source of all my misery.
Two blissful hours passed, and then I started getting some niggling thoughts...
What if my parents were trying to get in touch with me?
What if my friends wanted to update me about the evening plans?
What if my brother was trying to call me, with glad tidings that the perfume I had set my eyes upon, had been bought by him, and when did I want to meet him?
A couple of other "what ifs" also crossed my mind, and then I decided that I should switch on the phone.
Another deep breath, and I switched it on.
Silence.
More silence.
But before I could flash my Cheshire cat grin, the phone vibrated yet again......
No prizes for guessing....
Another salesguy offering yet another credit card.
I disconnected,
and buried my head in my hands...
